an un-understandable story.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

well, i've just changed my blogskin again.
thought that i should have something simple..
yeaah, and here it is, much more simple now(:

sigh.
sometimes, life is like so empty .
especially during when you are so alone..
listening to some sad songs...
here's what i wrote..
from my previous a-hem..
((:

life is empty when you feel something is missing from your life..
a part of your life..
you could not sleep, think or eat well.
you can't even do anything.
your heart is always in great pain at all times.
every night, you would cry yourself to sleep.
your greatest wish is that, he will be there for you..
always...
everyday, you would look at your handphone,
wishing he would reply to your smses..
but never..
he never reply anymore..
instead, a girl would be using his handphone..
and you would let your imagination run wild..
what is the girl doing with his handphone
what did they do together..
why hurt me?
why?!

you yearn to be with him every sec..
though you knew that it wouldn't happen..
when you found out that you does not have a place
in his heart, you feeling like bursting into tears..
people tell you to be strong, but you couldn't help
feeling helpless..
he always have a special place in your heart..
but you don't have one in his heart.
when happened to the fairytale u and him a month ago?
what caused this misery to happen?
why cling on to this fake fairytale, knowing it
wouldn't turn out the way you want it to be?
illustrations..
imaginations..
all you wanted is just love from him..
is it so hard to posess it?

when you found him cheating on you..
you found that, no one care for you anymore..
you feel like you're on the edge of breaking down..
you couldn't hold yourself back anymore..
you just want to run.. run..
run forever,
like there's no end for it..
you want to cry out loud,
telling how much you love him..
but tears were flowing out,
making you to stutter the words out.
there's no end for this,
the wound will always hurt you,
the past will always haunt you,
there'll be a deep scar that will remain there forever......


you wish to forget,
you yearn to forget,
you would do anything to forget this horrible past.
you wouldn't want to see him again..
perhaps closing the door of yours from the world,
would make you feel much better.
you just want peace, a simple life.
but why,
does he always goes to such extend to hurt you?
why can't he just stop hurting you..
with his new girlfriend?
does it make him happy to see you dying inside?
does he?
he would never care how you feel..
he would never bother whether you're bleeding inside..
he would never wait to see you die..
he would love to see you crying in pain..
and,
why can't he and his gf just stop harassing you?
they never would want to see you happy..
torturing you makes them feel better..
and they would always give you that smirk of theirs..
that would really hurt you so deeply..
deep down at your heart..
you still love him a lot..
but. he has changed..
memories flashed past your mind..
the fun you had together..
the way he was so sincere that you would be his girlfriend..
the way he was so sweet about you..
the way you cried and beg him not to leave you..
the way you hold his hands so tightly..
so he won't leave you.. and go over to that bitch..
yyou started screaming and wouldn't let go..
he keep pushing you away.. yet you wouldn't give up..
finally, you could see that the love would not come back
anymore.. you have lost everything..
everything..
things will not be the same anymore..
he has gone to the bitch..
he wouldn't be so sweet anymore..
he wouldn't love you the way he used to anymore..
he would not put up with your silly tempers
the way he used to..
he would not call you anymore..
you would not be able to see his name on the
called id anymore..
you would not receive any smses from him anymore..
he will not come back anymore..
anymore.. forever...........
............................

-cries-
deeply hurt,
bleeding on the inside.
it will haunt me forever..

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