It’s as if a tsunami is taking place inside me; yet I’ve to remain composed for the sake of behaving normally to blend in well with society.
It’s as though these feelings have to be suppressed in order for me to look normal, I’d be deemed as abnormal if these emotions are out of the bag.
As a result, I found new means to express these feelings - and I changed, for the worst.
Impatient. Temperamental. Emotional.
I wasn’t aware until I realise people around me were getting constantly hurt by my actions and words. I couldn’t control them.
I say things that hurt, I push people away but at the end of the day, I realise it wasn’t my intention to bring hurt to people I love, but the bitterness has gotten the best of me. I love them dearly, they make up the bits and pieces of the light in my darkness.
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning but I am my own lifebuoy too, forced to keep myself afloat but the chains get heavier and heavier... I will drown, soon.
When will life get better again?
F-k you 2019.
