Papa's face lit up when he saw Gerald and I walking into Ward 36. We were holding a helium balloon, and a cake sat on his bedside table.

It was his birthday, 16th May and though that'd be the very last place we'd want to celebrate his birthday at, it was the least we could do to bring a smile to his face. He's been in the hospital for the past 28 days, and we can't wait for him to be discharged.

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Fast forward to right now, 23rd May:

Papa is now lying in the ICU - fighting for his life. Less than 48 hours from 16th May, he went into a cardiac arrest. It was all so sudden.

On Friday night, Papa still told us, "See you guys tomorrow.. Faster go home. Buy my favourite wanton mee tomorrow ok?"

He didn't even get to see us on Saturday. He didn't even get to eat his favourite wanton mee from Pasir Ris Hilltop hawker centre. Why?


I love him so much - despite the years of bickering, deep down I know he has always wanted the best for us. He wanted us to go to church with him on Sundays. He wanted us to go travel together as a family. He wanted Gerald and me to get along well. He prayed for us and loved us so, so much.

I miss talking to him.. I miss telling him about my day, I'd rush to the hospital after work for fear he'd be alone, and I wanted to spend dinnertime with him. I wanted to know how was his day - what happened during the day, if he'd had a hearty lunch, if anyone bullied him or how many times he's gone to the toilet.

My temper is the worst in the family, and I believed my ill-temperedness took after him a little. I stood up whenever I feel something is not right, and I'd always say whatever's on my mind - no matter what.

When I got my heart broken, he was so upset and told me I deserved better. When I needed help to set up my very first flea, he drove my luggages down and stood there the entire day to sell my clothings with me despite no knowledge of girls' clothings, etc.


There're so many things I want to do with you, my dearest Pa. I want to come home to see you sitting at the living room, watching your favourite TV dramas and eating dinner. I want you to ask me to help you to switch off the bedroom lights. I want to hear you encouraging me to chase after my dreams.


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God, if you love my father and if you love us, please give him a chance at life again and restore youth and life back to his organs again.

Amen.