Here, where the sky's falling

I'm covered in blue
I'm running and I'm crawling
Fighting for you
When the rain stops
Then, darling, what will I do
And I know I go all in
But why do I

There's a crack in my window
A bird in my room
Angels all over
That watch over you
When I'm walking on water
All my dreams have come true
Still, nothing means nothing
Without you, you

I got out of my comfort zone this year, Papa.

Wish I could tell you that. 💓

I've been dying to take my fitness instructor course for the past 5 years, but I kept it on hold because I was afraid. Afraid I wouldn't be able to make it, and the thought of failing scared me more than anything else.

This year, I signed up without hesitation. 

I jumped at that opportunity, because I no longer want to put off plans or the dreams I've been harbouring. It's time to take action and chase those dreams, like you always wanted us to do.

You keep me fighting, Daddy. 

And I will always keep fighting, no matter how intimidating everything gets, or how hard the going gets. 

It's going to be worth it.

Today, I received my fitness instructor certificate. I passed. 

So happy, but also sad at the same time. If only you were here to celebrate this piece of good news with me.

Am I afraid of love?

Yes, I was.

I was afraid of being in a relationship because I've been burned so badly before. 

I gave my everything in a 4 years relationship and it took the joy out of everything in life. 

Always paranoid, always wondering when will be the next time I'd get hurt again.

Then, he came along and changed everything.

He showed me how love was done properly, and I started believing in it again. 

The right man will love you... and your family and friends too.

Of course, everything feels so right that sometimes, the insecurities from my past experiences kick in from time to time. 

At times, he'd get a bit naggy but he always has my best interest at heart. 

He was always nagging at me to get this done, to get that done - 

but I know why. It's part of the plan for us to move forward together. 

No one's going to get left behind.

In October, Shawn and I made a trip to Guangzhou, unaware that a global pandemic will start from one of their biggest wet markets in November, and now it has taken over the world - the economy plunging into the worst recession in nearly a century while diplomatic relations between countries are spiralling downwards.